Starlight Sentiments

Divided

The Road Not Taken

By: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

..

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 ..

 And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

..

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

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Divided

Sometimes you just feel divided - you have multiple choices in front of you and you can’t tell which is right. Perhaps you can not tell right from wrong, or up from down. The hard part in these scenarios is picking a path and sticking with it. It’s ruthless and perhaps impossible to start out on one path, then turn around and decide to try something else. Perhaps these paths are really a one-way street: Once we start out on them, we can not go back, but only forward. I guess I have just been thinking a lot, which brings me to my great period of absenses of posts. Between school, work and sleep I’ve been busy. When you’re busy, you start thinking - But also, when you’re busy, you don’t have time to sort out all of those thoughts and you end up divided. But in a way all of us are always divided over something. So what shall it be, the left path, or the right one? If only it were really that simple..

Meddling

   I can’t help it, I just can’t understand it. Why do people insist on meddling? Especially when they do not know what I feel. How can they know what I feel when I can’t describe how I feel to them? It’s tough, I know friends just want to help, but sometimes it just makes problems worse. Sometimes it creates a very problem in which would have never existed if it wasn’t for meddling. It creates disappointment where there is no reason to be. My heart has been dropped, torn apart, twisted — damaged. I’ve gone through a lot, and I need to take some time to figure it all out. Yet, it’s hard to do when my own misguided words I gave to a friend are passed to someone else. Someone I didn’t want to hear these words, not because I didn’t want to hurt them, but because I am not yet sure of what I feel. If I knew what I feel, I would tell them myself. Why in this day in age do we need a middle man? And if I did need a middle man then I would tell them. But I don’t. Not at this point of time, and I would think never… well, maybe nearly never, I can not say never because I need my friends. I need my friends for sure. They help me through everything. Yet, for these sort of things, for the heart matters, maybe unless I ask for their help, it’s best I stand alone… and as I write all this I’m not even sure what all happened, but I know meddling happened. Meddling always happens with me involved. Look where it’s gotten me… It’s gotten my heart torn, broken, ignore — damaged. I for one am going to try not to meddle. I don’t like meddling. If you think I’m meddling, please tell me to knock it off. In my experiences it causes more harm than good. Unless you know otherwise… *sigh*

Coloring Outside the Lines

I colored today; in a coloring book, with crayons. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that and it was so much fun. It took me back to my kindergarten days. What a great time it was, to eat cookies and color all day to one’s heart content. Everything was so simple then; now it all seems crazy. Just think, in kindergarten it was fine to color outside of the lines, our teacher expected it. We were applauded just for the mere coloring. Now, we can not color outside of the lines without being told we are wrong by another. I’m talking metaphorically, of course. I just mean now-a-days everything is a lot more complicated. We have rules to follow, people around us to please. Is there ever a time we get to color outside of the lines? Yes, I think there is, but they seldom come about. I live to embrace the times when we are allowed to color outside the lines, when the rules are not set down for us, but an open slate lay before us; an open slate of options. A slate, in which if I chose, I can color purple with green and yellow polka-dots. I live for those moments each and every day.

Freedom

   Freedom; A week of freedom is right around the bend. A week after the Winter Quarter comes to a tumbling halt and before the Spring Quarter begins. It’s weird how great that week will be off from school. Even though I will still have to work, a week with no homework. With everything right now, that seems like a far off distant dream. The summer seems like a haze to me, it’s even farther away. Yet, it’s just around the corner. March. April. May. June. I graduate in June! Horrah! Yet it’s funny, my classes end after I graduate… strange how that works! But every moment will be worthwhile! Then comes July. Oh, how great a month July will be! Kadie is coming! I can’t believe it! It still does not seem real! So much to do, so little time! Then August. CAMP! Camp will be fabulous, it always is. Freedom is just around the corner. I can smell it. Even though it’s only a week of freedom, it will get me through. It will get me through until summer. In the summer, my real freedom begins.

My Lenten Journey

   It’s that time of year again, lent is here! I think it’s a great blessing in disguise. A lot of people moan when it rolls around the corner and don’t really take into account it’s full meaning. Jesus DIED for us, he gave the ultimate sacrifice and yet we whine and complain about giving up things such as soda, chocolate, etc. And why? I mean, I do it too. I find myself whinning. Isn’t that horrible though? Jesus spent 40 days in the desert tempted by the devil and did not give in. Can we not sacrifice something so small without complaining? This year, I’m doing three things for lent.

1.) I’m giving up soda.

It’s a simple thing, very common practice, but I face it every day at work. I get free pop at work if I would like, and the temptation for free pop can be very great indeed. Who doesn’t want such a delicious drink for free? But it’s bad for me. I don’t need it, it is a luxury in my life. One of the luxuries that as those who give things such as this up during lent, we are drawn to remember how we do not need all these earthly luxuries. We are blessed. Every time I’m tempted to get soda to drink, no matter where I am, I’m going to pray about it. In THAT way giving up soda will be able to bring me closer to God. Something tells me a lot of prayers are going to be happening in the back of the Bob Evans break room!

2.) I’m making an effort to read out of the bible every day.

To help me do this I’ve set my internet home page to LifeTeen.com, an AWEsome (<- youth group reference) catholic youth website! They have daily bible readings listed on the home page of the site each day and you can just click on them and they will show you the passage out of the bible. How simple is that, right? and

3.) I’m going to write a letter each day to someone who has touched my life.

Looking at LifeTeen.com, I got the coolest idea! This person wrote a letter each day of lent to a different person who has touched their lives. I haven’t decided when exactly I’m going to mail out the letters or give it to them (whether it’s continuous thorugh out lent or all at the end) but I just think that’s such a neat idea!

So, that’s it! Wish me luck on my lenten journey! Jesus loves you!